Day 26: Pyramids.

I spent the bulk of my day with the Ahmets. Ahmet number one is my driver, and an Egyptology and tourism student, and alleged former Olympic medal holder (100 meter dash, Moscow.) Ahmet number 2 is my pyramid guide, and a Bedoin. As in, nomad, and tents, and he has traveled the 2-month journey on camels across the Sahara from Egypt to Libya. They are both characters. Ahmet 1 will not stop talking about Egyptian aphrodesiacs, despite the fact that I keep changing the subject. Ahmet 2 is a big fan of American rappers- he things Eminem is ok, especially after he saw 8 Mile, but he thinks poor Tupac was just beautiful.

Giza is only 11 miles from Cairo; in traffic about an hour. A harrowing hour, in fact- it's not so much that people aren't following the rules, it's that there aren't any. I watched a 7-lane-across merging free-for-all this morning, on a road with no lanes marked at all. People weave and tailgage and play chicken. Pedestrians? God bless them. They just sally forth into traffic, no matter how many lanes or what speed, as there is no other way to cross. Cars don't actually slow down for them, but they do swerve, so that's good. I tested all this out this afternoon and there's no combination of signals that makes it ok for pedestrians to cross. There's one with a blinking yellow light, in the center of two other blinking yellow lights on a different rhythm- I have no idea what that means. Then there's the pedestrian green light complete with the animated walking pedestrian- that one just seems to make the cars angry as they speed through. Red means 30 seconds of "drive like hell," so that's insane. Your best hope, really, is just to step our into moderately-paced traffic. And gridlock.

Anyway. For this and other reasons, I went with the tour offered by my hotel: $50, car and guide for the day, Giza-Saqqara-Memphis. I didn't ask if it included my entry fees; no, but that's fine, I was happy to pay the 30 pounds, about $6, to get in. Another travel surprise. As we approach Giza, Ahmed 1 starts giving me detailed instructions- on how to deal with the camel guys.

I stare back blankly for a moment and say, "That's ok, I'll just walk." Because who, other than a dazed tourist, would actually do the camel thing? I had no intention whatsoever. Ahmed informs me that it's the only way- the complex is 12 km and I'll never see it all if I don't go on a camel. But if I'd rather have a horse I can do that instead. Again I say, "Can't you just walk? I thought camels were just, like, you know, tourist extra." And he says, "Trust me. And anyway, you'll never ride a camel again, so why not now? But when you are talking to the camel guys, don't say anything about money. They'll rip you off. I'll deal with that."

Next thing I know I am seated on a bench, and Ahmed 2 is gesturing at a wooden map of Giza and telling me my Camel Package Options. I go for the big one- ride up a big sand dune for pictures, and see all the pyramids, and the Sphinx. And, contrary to every intention (not to mention the promise by Ahmed 1 to help me,) I am haggling for a camel.

I confirm later on that, yes, this is a racket. And you can indeed drive directly up to the pyramids, and just walk around, for 1/10 of what I paid. However, and this is a BIG however, that would have been a tragic mistake. I did briefly get involved in the tourist crush to get an up-close picture of the Sphinx, and that part was a nightmare- jostling and herding and lots of hassling by people selling things. 10 minutes of that was plenty, and if I'd driven in, that's all I would have gotten. Instead, I climbed onto a camel. complete with festive traditional camel headgear. (Camels, for the record, are way, way, taller than horses.) I got to ride in through the back entrance and across a really nice stretch of Sahara. From way off in the distance, the blowing sand made the pyramids look hazy and misty, and you couldn't see any people. There was a stunning view back down into Cairo.

We did ride up a giant sand dune, high enough to take some great shots. Ahmed made me do a tourist photo shoot- you know, mock leaning on the pyramids, one foot up in the air resting on the pyramid, etc, and though I would normally object to such shenanigans, they are hilarious, particularly the one of Ahmed and me doing "Walk Like an Egyptian." Then we got closer, much closer, and finally close enough to stand on the base of the biggest pyramid. Crazy, they look smaller as you get close because the perspective looking up is all skewed. Ahmed told me that Napoleon is responsible for most of the damage; the story has it that he spent 2 weeks shelling the pyramids to destroy them but never made much headway and eventually gave up. Went down into the crowd to see the Sphinx, exactly as enigmatic as I would have guessed. After that, I parted ways iwth Ahmed 2 and went with Ahmed 1 to Saqqara.

Again, as luck has it, lots of the monuments were closed for repairs. There are enormous, enormous excavations everywhere- it looks exactly like the scenes from Raiders of the Lot Ark with the frantic digs. Lots of these deep wells, way out from the base of the big pyramid there, contain stairs and secret doors- hidden passages into the tomb. The pyramid here, a stepped one, the Dzoser's tomb, is the first pyramid; this stepped one gradually led to the development of the rest.

Ahmed led me into some smaller tombs, where people are studying the heiroglyphics and wall painings. The most exciting: there's a small pyramid onsite, which really is crumbled to the point it looks like a sand dune, that you can enter. This is another thing I had no plans to do, having read that it is brutal on your back and knees todo the crouching walk down the steep ramps to get into one of these things, and neither my back or knees are up for anything risky. It was a short climb in, though. The ramp, fortified with steel square tubing for footholds, is at about a 45 degree angle, and you have to do it crouched forwards as far as you can get, holding onto the rails so you don't pitch forward face-first. You can briefly stand up at the bottom, then you enter a long stone passageway about 3' high. You just have to duck and go for it, and it's uncomfortably long. Another brief respite, another stone passage, and you're in the tomb room, with a high vaulted ceiling covered in stone stars, and some really well preserved wall paintings.

It was all pretty mind-blowing. It has not sunk in that I stood on the base of a pyramid today, or saw the Sphinx, or rode a camel through at least a little bit of desert. I came back and looked in the mirror, and for the record, I looked a complete mess. But I really, really liked what I saw. My hair was all frazzly and tangled, and my cheeks were sunburned, and I was covered in sand, and my clothes had holes in them in two places. (And not to put too fine a point on it, but I'm pretty sure I smelled like my camel.) But my hair was a mess from the Sahara breeze and not an all-nighter, and my cheeks were pink from a few hours out in the Cairo sun and not pale from weeks at my desk, and I was covred in ancient sand from eroding pyramids instead of graphite and zap-a-gap. Even with the camel aroma, I'm calling it a major improvement.