Fun Facts

In Cairo, you hiss to get someone’s attention. It kind of sends chills down your spine. You make repeated kissy noises to get through a crowd. You make movie-vampire noises to get your camel to sit down. If you are a camel, your verbal response to this sounds like a geyser erupting.

In Indonesia, a horn honk means “hello.”

Greek alphabet: B’s are V’s, P’s are R’s, E’s are S’s, upside-down U’s are L’s- it’s like doing a cryptoquote.

Bali- we do outdoor stone bathrooms, with high walls for privacy. It makes SO much sense, sun-bleached and airy, especially in comparison to a dingy interior mildewed water closet.

Many places (Indonesia, Istanbul, Greece) have the small-hose-and-faucet set-up next to the toilet. And rarely is there any paper. Why?? How??

Always ask, before surrendering every stitch of your laundry, whether the establishment in question has a dryer.

Public boat with the chicken: way better than the wave-jumping speedboat.

If you have to have a meltdown, do it somewhere safe. Case in point: white-knuckle it past the the 12 foot swinging rebar and road craters and elderly people and veering motorbikes in Dar, and then find a quiet road and clean ditch into which to crash your bike.

Worth the extra money in advance: substantial travel bag.

Holding the restroom’s toilet paper hostage in order to extort a tip for handing it to you: Not Nice. That kind of karma will come back to get you, people.

Istanbul: everyone walks arm-in-arm. Brothers, friends, family- it’s really sweet.

Jessica was right, my white t-shirt needed to be destroyed after about a week.

Taking the camel route to see the pyramids- totally worth it for the distant view from the Sahara.

The cab driver doesn’t want to see the map, address, or directions to your hotel. No matter what country, no matter what language the directions are in. This is true even if the cab is a rickshaw, or a dala-dala. You will not be able to convince them to look.

Oxtail soup: better than it sounds, and much much better than it looks. Pigeon tongue soup? Can’t report, I chickened out, can that be real? Do pigeons even have tongues?

From Boram, who works at my hotel in Istanbul: Kalamata olive, with lemon juice, capers, and olive oil.
From Ellie, Byzantio restaurant, the plaka: baked feta. Tomatoes, olive oil, green peppers, crusty bread.

In Europe, the messier the dish, the fewer napkins they will give you. I think it’s a game.

Language seeps in over time, even when you’re not trying. A language comes back to you quickly, even if you haven’t needed it in years.

The Dar Es Salaam airport staff is not afraid to ask pointed questions about your toiletries. This is definitely a game. It is not a fun game, but it is a game.

Italian fashion: Want It. All about the boots.

A La Kate: If you see a puddle in Africa, and it has not rained in the last 20 minutes, do not step in it.

People on cell phones in public places, are annoying in any language. Petulant children are petulant, with all the same noises, in any language.

Public restrooms around the Vatican: the nicest in Rome. Thank you.

Curry: a mean, mean thing to serve on an airplane. It looks vile, tastes worse, and smells worst of all. Multiply this by 300 people in a small space, and it’s cruel. I blame you, Qatar Airlines, for two days of The Quease, in Rome. And I didn’t even eat it.

Count your change.

Sitting in Piazzas is just as educational as museums.

Taxi fares will eat you alive. Taxis in traffic = financial nightmare.

Orval: if you want to appear smart, it’s “Un Orval.” Every other beer in Belgium is “Une,” for some reason, Orval is masculine. It’s also delicious.